I am proud to say that yesterday I had a panic attack…. I’ve never had one before so I didnt know what was going on at first, but… I had one, and in hind-sight for the stupidest reason…
I had a job interview yesterday at a prominent LDS bookstore for evening work (I have to fill my time with something – and if the “something” involves money – sign me up!). I was sitting in the waiting area because, true to form I was 30 minutes early. I sat and watched people leave the elevators to go home from work and I also had a great view to “people watch” those eating in the food court. As people filtered by me I started to take notice of their left ring finger for wedding bands… several girls walked by without wedding bands – but EVERY man that walked by had a wedding ring on his hand. EVERY ONE! That is when the panic came… Now, people reading this entry who live outside of Utah wont completely understand this but I started to freak out thinking – “What if I never get married, what if I had my chance and I ruined it…” And then came the pounding heart and sweaty palms (not good for that first impression handshake, by the way) and I started to breathe really REALLY fast and all I could think about was that I was going to be the extremely obese woman eating her pizza in the corner – ALONE! I tried to get my mind off it and not look at the rings – but they were taunting me… and in my panic and confusion – it was my turn to go in for the interview… First Question: “Why do you want to work here?” and in my head I thought “I dont know if I do – I’ll drive myself crazier than I already am!!!”
I made it through the interview with little or no incident….
I got home that night and really needed to take a nice relaxing bath so I got all settled and a HUGE brown spider crawled out of the water plugger (I dont know what it is called, you know the thing you push up or down to stop or let the water drain?) And in one sweeping motion I got up and a huge wave caught the spider and dropped it right into a cup I had at the side of the tub. Sweet hu? Then I stayed there and for a good 10 minutes watched the spider struggle to get out and slowly die… and then of course I had to get out of the tub because I kept thinking spiders were crawling all over me….
And then I thought I guess there are worse things then not getting married…. like having spiders crawling all over you… now there is a reason to have a panic attack!